Movie Fever: The Interview

Directed by: Evan Goldberg & Seth Rogen

Memorable quotes:

News Anchor: We are living in the midst of a modern day Hitler.

Dave Skylark: (reading lyrics from Eminem's song) "Yesterday, I yelled a degrading insult at an elderly lady. Then I asker her how it would feel to be eighty, F word senior citizen. Suck a wiener, sit and spin. And why you drive so slow? Don't you want to get where you're going faster since you'll probably die tomorrow, you old whore? Die, old bitch, die, before I murder you." What do you mean by this Em?
Eminem: Well, first of all, I feel like when I rap, like, people twist my words.
Dave Skylark: Okay, but can you see how an old person might say:" I think what this guy is telling me, this Eminem, is that I should go kill myself and I know I don't like that."
Eminem: I mean, I don't necessarily rap about the things that I hate, it's more about the things that I fear.
Dave: I get you.
Eminem: You know, it's like if I say something about women or whatever, I think a lot of that is more or less me dealing with issues with, you know, old issues with my mom or whatever.
Dave: With your mother.
Eminem: Yeah, or you know, when I say things about gay people and people thinks my lyrics are homophobic you know, it's because I'm gay.

Dave Skylark: Em, let's just back it up for a moment. You just said that you were gay? And I'm just curious what you meant by that exactly...
Eminem: I mean I'm gay.
Dave: I'm just a little confused here because gay can mean a lot of things.
Eminem: I am an homosexual.
Dave: Meaning...
Eminem: I like men.

Malcolm: What the fuck just happened?
Aaron Rapaport: Eminem said he was gay... Four times! That's what the fuck just happened!
Malcolm: Holy shit.
Aaron Rapaport: Holy shit, Eminem's gay on our show!

Dave Skylark: It's like Spike Lee just said "I'm white"!

Dave Skylark: You are the Gandalf to my Bilbo Baggins!

Aaron Rapaport: She said we couldn't ask any of our own questions, they were gonna write all the questions. We can't do it. We're essentially letting him interview himself with your mouth!
Dave Skylark: Look, Look at this butt fuck. He's got a whole parade of nukes, he is ready to use them. When you score a Ben Laden, or a Hitler, or a Un, you take it by the balls. It's the first rule of journalism. You give the people what they want.
Aaron Rapaport: That's not the first rule of journalism. I think that's the first rule if circuses and demolition derbies.

Dave Skylark: This is like eating your vegetables. Once you eat those, you get to eat the steak.

Dave Skylark: They hate us cause they ain us.
Aaron Rapaport: They hate us cause they anus? The fuck does an anus have to do with this?
Dave Skylark: They hate us cause they ain'T us.
Aaron Rapaport: That's not what it is.
Dave Skylark: Yes it is!
Aaron Rapaport: No, it's not. They hate us cause we is us and what we is doing is fucking terrible.
Dave Skylark: They fucking hate us cause they ain us.
Aaron Rapaport: Stop saying that.

Dave Skylark: Haters gonna hate.

Agent Lacey: The CIA would love it if you could take him out.
Dave Skylark: Huh?
Agent Lacey: Take him out...
Dave Skylark: Take him out?
Aaron Rapaport: What for drinks?
Agent Lacey: No, no, no. Take him out.
Dave Skylark: Tale out like to dinner?
Aaron Rapaport: Take out for a meal?
Agent Lacey: Take him out!
Aaron Rapaport: To the town?
Dave Skylark: Party?
Agent Lacey: Take him out.
Aaron Rapaport: You want us to assassinate the leader of North Korea?
Agent Lacey: Yes.
Dave Skylark: Whaaaaaat?
Aaron Rapaport: If we kill him, won't there be another chubby dude with a goofy hairdo to come in and replace him?

Dave Skylark: I think we need to do this. She is so cool!
Aaron Rapaport: You don't see what's happening and it's obvious it's crazy.

Aaron Rapaport: It's an attractive spy woman who lures men into doing shit they're not supposed to do.

Agent Lacey: It's very offensive cause basically if you think about what you're saying to me, you're saying because I'm a girl and because I'm attractive my only use for this agency would be to manipulate men?
Dave Skylark: I think it's offensive too, and that's exactly what I said to Aaron. I said "that bitch is blind as a bat".
Agent Lacey: Can we please move on? We have a dictator to kill.

Agent Lacey: Kim Jong-un is a master manipulator. His people revere him as a God. Anything he tells them, including that he can speak to dolphins or doesn't urinate and defecate.
Dave Skylark: Wow wow wow, you're telling me my man doesn't pee and poop?
Agent Lacey: I'm telling you he does and he lies to his people and they believe him!

Dave Skylark: But he does talk to dolphins?

Aaron Rapaport: What the fuck is this?
Dave Skylark: It's my bag!
Aaron Rapaport: Wonderful, it's just not the bag the CIA gave you!
Dave Skylark: That bag?
Aaron Rapaport: Yes, that bag!
Dave Skylark: That bag was Fugly with a capital FUG!
Aaron Rapaport: It was also designed to conceal fucking poison that we're gonna smuggle into a foreign country.
Dave Skylark: Kim is a super fan! He knows I take fashion risks.

Dave Skylark: Kim is gonna be like: "Oh no, you got ugly bag. You no Skylark, you secret agent. Terminated."

Dave Skylark: We are different people. We speak different languages, huh? We have different faces. But inside, we are same same. Same same, but different.

Dave Skylark: You know, I'm very very interested in the history of your young nation. I hear that absolutely everyone is starving to death.

Sook: We have many fat children in North Korea. The supreme leader believes that it is a mark of prosperity and self-sufficiency.

Dave Skylark: I heard that he doesn't pee or poop.
Sook: He works so hard he burns the energy from inside.
Dave Skylark: You're telling me my man doesn't have to take a poop. Does he have a butthole?
Sook: He does not have a butthole. He has no need for one.

Guard: This gum has no flavor.
Dave Skylark: If you don't like it just spit it out.
Aaron Rapaport: Spit it out, we wouldn't be insulted if you just split it out!
Guard: Your gums taste like shit.

Dave Skylark: I will love your mother like she was my mother.
Aaron Rapaport: Shut up!

Dave Skylark: It's really scary out there.
Aaron Rapaport: Yeah, super duper scary.

Aaron Rapaport: Guys, I'm very unhappy right now.
Dave Skylark: Look, it's really dark out there, he probably doesn't see you.
Aaron Rapaport: Oh it fucking sees me.
Agent Lacey: It has night vision.
Aaron Rapaport: They have night vision?
Dave Skylark: The tiger has night vision goggles?
Agent Lacey: It doesn't have night vision goggles, it just naturally has night...Listen, just keep the line clear.

Dave Skylark: I didn't want it to come to this but you're gonna have to fight that tiger.
Agent Lacey: Do not, do not fight the tiger!
Dave Skylark: Do not be a gentleman. You go right to the fucking balls!
Aaron Rapaport: I don't see his balls!

Dave Skylark: Are you in the tiger? Advert, are you inside the tiger?

Agent Lacey: We don't have a better plan. You're going to have to stick it in your ass.
Aaron Rapaport: No, no, no. I've never done that.
Dave Skylark: I've been there before. It looks huge. That tiger blood will lubricate it.
Aaron Rapaport: This will mess up my asshole.

Dvae Skylark: You got fucked by Robocop dude!

Kim Jong-Un: I might not show it but I'm freaking out.

Kim Jong-Un: It was my gift to my grandfather from Staline.
David Skylark: In my country it's pronounced Stalone.
Kim Jong-Un: You're so funny Dave.

Kim Jong-Un: You know Dave, sometimes I feel like a plastic bag.
David Skylark: Drifting to the wind.
Kim Jong-Un: Wanting to start again.

Dave Skylark: Liking Katy Perry and drinking margaritas is gay? Who wants to be straight?!
Kim Jong-Un: Not me!
Dave Skylark: Boring!

Dave Skylark: Oh man, this is great. Can we fire the gun?
Kim Jong-Un: Do you think I tease you and not take you all the way?
Dave Skylark: Really?
Kim Jong-Un: Close this shit.

Sook: I have watched every episode in preparation for this interview.
Aaron Rapaport: Wow.
Sook: I particularly enjoyed the Miley Cyrus camel toe episode.
Aaron Rapaport: Oh the camel toe episode. That was good.
Sook: I never heard this expression before. But after seeing it, it is a perfect representation of her vagina.
Aaron Rapaport: It is. It looks exactly like that, yeah.
Sook: Very deep.
Aaron Rapaport: Very deep, yes. She has quite the moose knuckles.
Sook: You Americans are so creative with you sexual innuendos.
Aaron Rapaport: We're doing very well.

Kim Jong-Un: I've got a butthole and it's working overtime.

Dave Skylark: You are so awesome! You know, this is so weird. You are like the coolest guy. But a lot of people say that you're bad shit crazy.
Kim Jong-Un: They're not wrong. I'm 31 years old. The fact that I'm running a country is bad shit crazy.

Kim Jong-Un: What am I to do when 24 million people look to me as their leader, their God? What am I to do when my father's dying wish was for me to carry his torch?

Dave Skylark: Wow. You wanna know what my father said to me on his deathbed?
Kim Jong-Un: What did he say?
Dave Skylark: "I'm disappointed because you haven't done enough with your life."
Kim Jong-Un: That is fuck up!
Dave Skylark: Tell me about it!

Aaron Rapaport: Dude, you just spent the fucking day with Kim Jong-Un, what happened?
Dave Skylark: Wow. It was amazing.
Aaron Rapaport: It was amazing?
Dave Skylark: Yeah, I think it was one of the best days of my life.
Aaron Rapaport:We smoked joints, played basketball, fucked chicks. We had the best margaritas.

Dave Skylark: OMG, Kim Jong is an animal!
Aaron Rapaport: You know you have to kill this fucking guy tomorrow, right?
Dave Skylark: I've been thinking a little bit, about the mission...
Aaron Rapaport: Okay...
Dave Skylark: America, you know... always putting their nose in things. Screwing things up.
Aaron Rapaport: The truth is, Kim is a mater at manipulating the media...
Dave Skylark: Yeah?
Aaron Rapaport: You're the media. You get what's happening here?
Dave Skylark: Maybe the media is manipulating you.
Aaron Rapaport: The media is manipulating... What the fuck does that even mean?

Dave Skylark: I'm the only one who've spent real time with him, alright? I've spend face to face time; Dick to dick.

Dave Skylark: Kim is not evil. He was just born into a hard situation.
Aaron Rapaport: You are fucking stupid and you are fucking ignorant Dave.

Aaron Rapaport: Everything he showed you is fake. He show you what you want to see. He's fooled you, you fucking ignorant!

Dave Skylark: Don't shake that hand!
Kim Jong-Un: Why not?
Aaron Rapaport: Yeah, why not?
Dave Skylark: Because Aaron is a jew!

Dave Skylark: Friends don't kill friends' friends.

Sook: You're hairy. You're so hairy like a bear!
Aaron Rapaport: You're fucking sexy.
Sook: Your nipples are so pink.
Aaron Rapaport: Yes, they are.

Aaron Rapaport: Use your big fat American teeth!

Sook: I am a terrible person.
Aaron Rapaport: No you're not. You're the best person. You were about to have sex with me, that's the best thing someone could do.
Sook: I'm the propaganda of a totalitarian dictatorship.

Sook: He is as cruel as his father and grandfather before him.

Sook: Too many people see him as a God. How do you prove to 24 million people that their God is a murderer and a liar?

Dave Skylark: He fucking honey dipped me! He honey dipped the shit out of me!
Aaron Rapaport: Sucks.

Dave Skylark: Kim must die! That's the American way.

Sook: The people need to be shown that he is not a God. That he is a man. Then they will be ready for change!

Sook: How many times can the US make the same mistake?
Dave Skylark: As many times as it takes.

Dave Skylark: Maybe we won't get out of here.
Aaron Rapaport: No, we might die.
Dave Skylark: I've had a great life. I've had the best best friend; Fucked more women than Ellen Degeneres.

Dave Skylark: The dog is killing me with cuteness.

Dave Skylark: Can I keep it?
Kim Jong-Un: Take it home forever and ever.
Dave Skylark: Why?
Kim Jong-Un: I live a lonely life Dave. And it warms my heart to know that there is someone in this world with whom I can truly be myself.
Dave Skylark: Whatever they say about you... they're wrong.
Kim Jong-Un: I'm just me and I do my best.
Dave Skylark: You're my brother.

Dave Skylark: In these times of great stress, do you do karaoke?

Dave Skylark: So, when you think of all your country' been through, the wars, the floods, do you think that your people should be rewarded for their resilience?
Kim Jong-Un: Of course Dave.
Dave Skylark: Then why don't you feed them?

Dave Skylark: Your father deprived you of life simplest pleasure. He told you that margaritas were gay.
Kim Jong-Un: I have no comment on margaritas?
Dave Skylark: Then why don't you drink them?

Kim Jong-Un: I don't like brain freeze. Fuck you Dave, you fucking asshole.

Sook: Let's get the fuck out of here!

Dave Skylark: No friend would blow up another friend's country. You're just a flawed man with a big old butthole and you pee and poop like the rest of us.

Dave Skylark: Protect that puppy with your life.

Dave Skylark: Bye Sook, have fun with the war.

Dave Skylark: Guess you're going to America where they don't eat doggies.

Aaron Rapaport: Guess what we named him? Kim Jong-Un.
Sook: It's a little fucked up, no?
Aaron Rapaport: Super fucked up but he is cute though!

Plot: Upon learning that North Korea leader is an avid of their show "Skylark Tonight", producer Aaron Rapaport and his sidekick Dave Skylark land an interview with the infamous dictator. This doesn't go unnoticed by the CIA and they are soon recruited to kill Kim Jong-un...

Trailer: