How to be single

Directed by: Christian Ditter

Memorable quotes:

- Alice: "There is a right way to be single, and there is the wrong way to be single"
- Alice: "We're embarrassed to admit we're single and try to pretend that we're not. We're supposed to act cheerful and happy about it. But why should we be embarrassed? We are living longer, marrying later and refusing to leave the party before we're really really done. So why do we always tell our stories through relationships?"

- Alice: "This story isn't about relationships. It's about all these times in between when maybe...just maybe... our real life's happening."

- Alice: " This isn't a breakup, okay? We are just taking some time apart. It's temporary like it's you know, it's like a break.
- Josh: Bullshit.
- Alice: Josh, I've never been on my own. I went from living with my parents to living in a dorm to living with you.
- Josh: But we're happy, Alice.
- Alice: Are we? Or are we just boring?
- Josh: I'm not boring. I'm fucking fun."

- Alice: "I need to know who I am alone and I don't want to spend all my life wondering 'what if?' "

- Robin: " You were great last night.
- One night stand: Was I?
- Robin: I can't remember."

- Meg: " Okay, let's go to your happy place.
- Pregnant woman: What if I poop?
- Meg: I won't even notice. It's totally natural. Women have been doing this for thousands of years.
- Pregnant woman: Oh yeah? How many babies have you had?
- Meg: I've delivered about 3000 of them.
- Pregnant woman: Didn't you want one?
- Meg: You know, I just felt like society doesn't let you pursue your dreams once you have children and I didn't feel like I wanted to give up my identity to be a slave to some tiny little love terrorist, you know. Plus your body does to shit, you have no time to exercise and forget about sleep for the rest of your life, right? [the patient starts crying] Oh no, you can do this!
- Pregnant woman: No, my body went to shit. My body went to shit. It did. And my is so lose already."

-Pregnant woman: "Is that poop or a baby?
- Meg: It's not a baby."

- Robin: "Welcome to the law firm of some guy, some other guy, and some Jewish guy. Just kidding, they are all Jewish. "

- Robin:  " There is no such thing as a break - Season 3, Ross."

- Robin: " You don't buy the drinks. Boys buy the drinks. It's like a sexual currency that they use so they don't actually pay you to hook up.

- Robin: " It was winter. Maybe I just used his dick as a scarf."

- Robin: "If you use an emoji, I will tit punch you."

- Robin: " I might have pissed in your sister's litter box.
- Alice: That's a Zen garden.
- Robin: The cat has a Zen garden?"

- Meg: " Why are you watching Bridget Jones? What did I tell you?
- Alice: It feels good in the moment.
- Meg: I know, but it's a bad idea. You get yourself all hooked up on Sex and the City  and Bridget Jones and thinking that you need some big single experience which by the way is total bullshit. All those girls ever did was look for boyfriends. And this is a great thing. Now you can focus on your career. "


- Robin: " You have LTRP.
- Alice: Oh my God, I do? Tom gave it to me, for sure. Wait, what's LTRP?
- Meg: Long term relationship pussy."

- Robin: "It's like Gandalf is staring right at me. ' No penis shall pass!' "

- Meg: " I'm pregnant.
- Robin: It's alright don't worry, we'll take care of it. I mean, Yes!!
- Alice: You're pregnant..."

- Alice: "Please blink so I know you're in there."

- Meg: " What's going on here? Is this one of those fetish things where you're like a foot fetish. Am I the foot?"
- Ken: Do you want to be the foot?"

- George: " That was terrible. You scared all the kids. Terrified a lot of parents. But it was also kind of awesome. I'm George."

- Ken: " Oh shit, Christmas trees! Come on, we'll get one!
- Meg: Okay. I mean I don't get Christmas trees but...
- Ken: Oh, are you Jewish?
- Meg: No, I just don't get Christmas trees.
- Ken: Oh, so you're a monster?
- Meg: " No, I'm just never home and I'd definitely kill it."

- Robin: "Their dicks probably look like cannolis."

- Alice: " You're wearing a scarf. On the outside of your jacket, which serves zero purpose."

- Alice: " I know I'm not supposed to need you anymore. But I really do."

- Alice: " I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore."

- Meg: " I have to warn you I have this weird farting thing happening. I don't know if it's me or the baby farting through me or what."

- Lucy: "Hey, happy alcoholics day! "

- Ken: " Are you pregnant?
- Meg: What? I've been trying to have a baby, yes. It's probably not even gonna stick.
- Ken: Yeah, I think it's stuck."

- Ken: " I think I deserve to know when there is someone living inside the person I'm having sex with."

- Meg: "What are you gonna do? Stay home and take care of the baby?
- Ken: Did I just win the lottery? Yes I wanna stay home and take care of a baby. When I was 8 years old mu Halloween costume was a stay at home dad. "

- Ken: "Well for the record this is not me leaving. This is you pushing me away."

- George: "Just to recap: Stay the fuck away from my girl, I don't want you to be my best man. We still love you. You're family. You'll definitely be invited to the wedding, but probably not, so don't be offended. I'm glad we had this talk man."

- Alice: "Robin, this isn't a joke. This is my life! But you know what: I guess you wouldn't actually understand that because you've never actually cared about anybody enough to actually get hurt so this type of things don't affect you.
- Robin: Okay. I'm sorry I invited them but who gives a shit about me?
- Alice: I do! Because you're my friend.
- Robin: Am I? Because as far as I can tell you only wanna hung out with me when you get dumped and you need someone to cheer you up.
- Alice: Well, you only ever hand out with me when you need me to be your little sidekick.
- Robin: The reason why I don't hang around with you when you are in a relationship is because you just turn into this lame shell of a human being. "

- Robin: "You're not gonna find the right guy by bumming free drinks and slutting it up!"

- Robin: "You're just meeting guys and falling into their dick sand.
- Alice: Falling in what?
- Robin: Their dick sand. It's like everytime a guy just looks at you, you just forget who you are. You get sucked into their world. "

- Robin: "At least when I do decide I want a boyfriend I'm gonna find someone who likes me for who I really am because I know who the fuck that is."

- Alice: "Josh, I wanna be alone. I know that I've said that a lot but for the first time in my life I really truly mean it."

 - Taxi driver: "Where to?
- Alice: Home. I'm going home.
- Taxi driver: Woman! I don't know where the fuck you live!"

- Ken: "And you're crazy. That's a fact? Honestly I think you're probably just as crazy when you're not pregnant. But I'm allowed to say that because I love you."

- Alice: " The thing about being single is you should cherish it. Because in a week or in a lifetime of being alone, you may only get one moment, one moment when you're not tied up to a relationship to anyone: a parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. One moment you stand on your own. Really truly single. And then it's gone."

- Alice: " I can unzip my own dress but I want you to do it for me. That sounded really weird. Erm, I want you to watch me unzip my dress. No, sorry, it sounded really sexual, it's not what I meant. What I meant is: I want to unzip my own dress and I just want you to be around cause you're my friend and I love you. "


Plot: A young woman named Alice decides to experience life as a single woman in a bid to find out who she really is. But does she actually know how to be single?

Trailer:


In a nutshell: 

How to be single is a non-original chick flick that amazingly enough still manages to deliver a good time to its audience. Rarely in my life have I seen so many women attend one screening and everyone seemed to laugh throughout the film, which is the point in the end. The script in itself is nothing original nor smart. It's a typical modern Hollywood chick flick that relies mostly on its all star casts, but it does work and does the job for a one time watch. Dakota Johnson was a lot more enjoyable than she was in Fifty Shades and while Leslie Mann did not take any chances with this role, she still played her part well. As for Rebel Wilson, everytime I see her in a movie it's like she is more or less playing the same role all over again, so no risk taken there as well but I suppose that directors won't change something that obviously works well. As for the men they are mostly eye candy who are there to please a dominant female audience. My advice is not to expect too much from this film and you won't be disappointed! Just watch, relax, have a good laugh with your girlfriends, and move on to a better movie!



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