Still Alice

 

Directed by: Richard Glatzer & Wash Westmoreland

Memorable quotes: 

Alice: Lydia, don't you think it's time to reconsider things? You're so smart. There is so much more you could be doing with your life. 

Lydia: Like going to college?

Alice: Yes, yes, like college.

Lydia: Yeah, like we never talked about that before. Every single day of my life. I figured what I wanted to do with my life and I'm doing it. It's a good thing.

Alice: Your sister and I have developed some obsession  with words with friends.

Lydia: It's cute.

Alice: You don't want to play with her. She is a demon.  

Lydia: I'm not surprised.

John Howland: Well, then I think it's ridiculous. It's complete bullshit. You don't have alzeihmer.

Alice: God damn, it, why won't you take me seriously? I know what I'm feeling and it feels like my brain is fucking dying and everything I worked for in my entire life is going.

John Howland: Whatever happens, I'm here.

Alice: Can anyone tell me what it says on the syllabus for today? 

Student: Phonology.

Alice: Can anyone tell me what phonology is?

Eric Wellman: Is everything alright between you and John?

Alice: Yes, everything is fine with John.

Eric: Is it something we can help with? Stress, depression...

Alice: No, no, no...

Eric: Substance abuse?

Alice: Oh no God. Eric, it's nothing like that. It's medical. It's a medical condition and I admit I had a hard time teaching last semester and I wasn't aware how much it showed.

Eric: Alice, I'm not following.

Alice: I have mild cognitive impairment.

Eric: Can you explain that for me?

Alice: In February I was diagnosed with early onset Alzeihmer disease. 

John: You completely blew up dinner plans. Susan Curby and her husband?
Alice: I'm sorry I forgot, I have Alzeihmer's.

John: Why don't you wear a fanny pack? Is it really that inhibiting? 
Alice: Yes.

John: We have to keep the important things in our lives going. We have to try or we're going to go crazy.

Alice: I wish I had cancer. 
John: Don't say that. 
Alice: I do. I mean it. I mean, I wouldn't feel so ashamed. When people have cancer, they wear pink ribbons for you, go on walk, raise money. You don't have to feel so... I can't remember the word.

Alice (recording a video): Hi Alice, I am you and I have something very important to say to you. So I guess you've reached that point, the point where you can no longer answer any of the questions. So this is the next logical step. I'm sure of it. In your bedroom there is a dresser with a blue lamp. Open the top drawer. In the back of the drawer, there is a bottle with pills in it. It says 'take all pills with water'. Now, there are a lot of pills in that bottle but it's important you swallow them all, okay? And then, lie down and go to sleep. And don't tell anyone what we're doing. 

Alice: Don't you wish we had more of that?
John: If you mean blow jobs on the beach, yes I do wish we had more of that. 

John: You were relentless. You wanted everything and all at once. 
Alice: So I am, and so I like it.

John: I liked you the way your were. I liked everything about you.

Lydia: You can't use your situation to get me to do everything you want.
Alice: Why not?
Lydia: Because it's not fair.
Alice: It doesn't have to be fair. I'm your mother...right?
Lydia: Yeah.

Lydia: Mom, did you read my journal? Why? Why would you do that? 
Alice: Gosh, I'm so sorry. Lydia, I honestly didn't understand what I was reading.
Lydia: You didn't understand 'Lydia Howland' written across the front of the book? I don't believe you!
Alice: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I really didn't know.
Lydia: Stop!
Alice: I wouldn't do that to you.

Anna' s husband: Just trying to protect my investment.

Anna: What makes you such an expert?
Lydia: Shut up!
Anna: Grow up, Lydia!
Lydia: Suck it!
Anna: Oh, that's very articulate, well said.
Lydia: Do you want me to show you?
Alice: Girls!

Alice: Lydia, baby, erm... I know we argued about something yesterday, but I can't remember what it was about.
Lydia: It was nothing honestly.
Alice: No, I upset you and I should apologize.
Lydia: No, no. I should apologize. I feel really bad. I was so insensitive yesterday. 
Alice: But for what?
Lydia: It was about you respecting my privacy and I don't want that and I take it back completely. And I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry...
Alice: It's not as if I can remember it.

Lydia: What's it like? I mean, what does it actually feel like?
Alice: Well, it's not always the same. I have good days and bad days. On my good days I can, you know, almost pass for a normal person. And on my bad days I feel like I can't find myself. I've always been so defined by my intellect, my language, my articulation and now sometimes I can see the words hanging in front of me and I can't reach them and I don't know who I am and I don't know what I'm gonna lose next. 
 Lydia: Sounds horrible.
Alice: Thanks for asking.

Neurologist: I know you're discouraged. But sometimes, patients plant hope, even at this point. Don't lose hope. 

Lydia: Good mom, good. It's very scientific. 
Alice: Yes, well, you know...
Lydia: I'm sure it's valid. But erm...
Alice: But what?
Lydia: I mean, isn't it any value at making it more personal? 
Alice: I don't understand what you mean by personal. 
Lydia: You know, you're not speaking to a room of scientists. What I wanna know really is like how do you feel, what does it feel like? What does your disease mean to you?
Alice: You weren't listening because that's all there. That's in the speech. 
Lydia: Okay, don't ask me then.
Alice: Then I won't ask you.

Alice: The poet Elizabeth Bishop once wrote: " The art of losing isn't hard to master. So many things seem filled with the intend to be lost, that their loss is no disaster." I am not a poet. I am a person living with early onset Alzeihmer's and as that person, I find myself learning the art of losing everyday. Losing my bearings, losing objects. Losing sleep. But mostly, losing memories.

Alice: I think I'll try to forget that just happened.

Alice: All my life, I've accumulated memories. They become in a way my most precious possessions. The night I met my husband, first time I held my textbook in my hands. Having children, making friends. Travelling the world. Everything I accumulated in life, everything I worked so hard for, now all that is being ripped away. 
As you can imagine, or as you know, this is hell. But it gets worse. Who can take us seriously when we are so far from who we once were? Our strange behavior and fumbled sentences changed others' perceptions of us. And our perception of ourselves. We become ridiculous, incapable, comic. But this is not who we are. This is our disease and like any disease it has a cause, it has a progression and it could have a cure. My greatest wish is that my children, our children, the next generation, do not have to face what I am facing. But for the time being I'm still alive. I know I'm alive. I have people I love dearly. I have things I want to do with my life. I rail against myself for not being able to remember things but I still have moments in the day of pure happiness and joy. 
And please do not think I am suffering. I am not suffering. I am struggling. Struggling to be part of things. To stay connected to who I once was. So live in the moment I tell myself. It's really all I can do, live in the moment and not beat myself up too much for mastering the art of losing. One thing I will try to hold on to though, is the memory of speaking here today. It will go I know it will. It may be gone by tomorrow. But it means so much to be talking here today, like my old ambitious self who was so fascinated by communication. Thank you for this opportunity. It means the world to me. Thank you.

Alice: Oh no... I was looking for that last night.
John (whispering to Anna): That was a month ago.

John: Ali, do you still wanna be here?
Alice: I'm not done yet. Do we have to go?
John: No, don't worry. Take your time.

John: You're a better man than I am.
Lydia: I've got her, okay.

Lydia: Nothing is lost forever. In this world there is a kind of painful progress, longing for what we've left behind and dreaming ahead. 

Lydia: What was it about?
Alice: Love...love.
Lydia: Yeah. It was about love. 

Plot: Alice Howland is a renowned linguistic professor who seemingly got a perfect life. She is a great university professor, she is smart beyond words, has three children she is close to, is about to become a grandmother and has a husband that loves her. Yet when Alice starts to forget her words and whereabouts, she fears something is very wrong with her...

 Trailer:

Review: 

Still Alice is one of the best movies of the year, hands down.

While very little movies deal with the Alzheimer disease, most of them focus on what it means for the relatives and loved one of the person diagnosed. Still Alice is particularly original and smart as it focuses on the individual affected by the disease. The film starts by portraying Alice, an intelligent, articulate, ambitious professor, wife, and mother of three grown up children who appears to have completely succeeded in life. Yet, she slowly realizes that something may be wrong when she starts to forget things, mix up information and get lost in familiar surroundings. Soon enough Alice is diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s and her world crumbles apart.

As a viewer, we get to see Alice being deprived of her own being, pieces by pieces.  As her memory fades away, so does the Alice that her loved ones and everybody else that met her knew. She is but an empty shell, a shadow of the person she used to be.

Julianne Moore, Alec Baldwin and Kristen Stewart are absolutely fabulous and their performance is outstanding and just incredibly touching.

Alec Baldwin’s character especially is amazing to watch. First struggling to accept his wife’s disease, he never ever abandons her and always cares about what is best of her.

I also loved seeing the interaction between Julianne Moore and Kristen Stewart who portrays her youngest daughter. The two actresses a good chemistry and in many ways I found it very easy to relate to her character.

In sum, I’d recommend this movie to everyone. Even though it can be really sad to watch, there is still no cure for Alzheimer, which makes Still Alice even more real and hard to watch as it makes you realize that this could happen to absolutely anyone.